Kate Tucker Releases Bonus Track "All I Ever Wanted"
"All I Ever Wanted" was recorded and produced by Paul Mahern and appears on the CD format of Practical Sadness. Today Tucker released it digitally with this statement:
What to do when it gets dark...
Today I was supposed to send you an email about my new song and summer shows. I was supposed to be at Wrigley Field, watching the Cubs before my sound check. I was supposed to invite you to our show tonight at Metro. But instead, I’m crying in my hotel room thinking about Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade and David Foster Wallace and Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain and my mom.
Mental illness is something we will all have in some form at some point in our lifetime. Depression is a real and serious thing, but it is not insurmountable and it does not reflect one iota on the strength of your spirit or the worth of your soul. It is like the very worst most debilitating flu that can surely take you, but can just as surely release you in the morning, with the right care and attention.
If you are depressed, please know you are not alone. It may take some time for you to find help or for help to find you, but please hang in there. And when you can’t, write it on a piece of paper and tape it to your bathroom mirror: “Help is coming.”
If you have somehow managed to not experience depression or anxiety in your life, I would guess that you are extremely lucky, highly enlightened and spending a shit ton of money on self-care, that -- or you are numbing the fuck out of yourself and you don’t feel anything. Either way, please realize that most of us are struggling much of the time and it’s okay when you feel sad and afraid. In fact, it’s actually normal.
My best friend Walter has schizophrenia — he has schizophrenia, he is not schizophrenic. His mental illness does not define him any more than a physical ailment defines a person. We say that someone has arthritis, or heart disease, so why do we label each other by our mental suffering? This is limiting and dangerous. And we’re missing out on the best of one another when we do this.
Walter's friendship has brought me countless deep and rich conversations, meals shared, laughter, tears, poetry -- transformative moments written indelibly on the fiber of my being. I am a different person because of him and because of his understanding of suffering and the complexities of the mind. In the midst of all of that, he grapples with suicidal tendencies and he cries for help as best he can. Once I answered that call on Christmas Eve, and thankfully we made it on to Christmas and a New Year.
There has been one call I did not get to answer and it changed my life forever. So today, when I’m thinking about “All I Ever Wanted” and how that song came to be, I find myself here, writing to you and thanking God for the healing power of music and human connection. I need all of this. I need you. And I’m here for you.